When it comes to parenting, most of us ‘just do it’! Kids are awesome and loveable so what’s to discuss?
When parents part, however, this ‘what’s to discuss?’ approach tends not to work so well. When parents separate, children need their parents to talk to each other and build a future Parenting Plan – not as ex partners, but as forever parents.
We all know that communication is one of the first things to go when there is conflict. One option is to hire a mediator to help you talk.
As a family mediator, I see that parents are often surprised to realise that they need also to talk about housing and money to get things right as parents.
I find it’s almost impossible for parents to come up with child-focused and practical parenting plans when they don’t yet know where everyone is going to live and how things will be paid for.
‘Basic needs’ are fundamental
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs says that ‘basic needs’ are fundamental to us all. We can’t begin to think about higher level needs when we fear that our basic needs for such things as food and shelter are threatened.
In mediation, parents can work out where everyone will live, how things will be paid for, enabling them to talk about how to raise their beautiful children. After
all, parents need to provide for their children as well, of course, as loving them, making sure they can learn and grow and become their very best selves.
When parents part, children need them to talk about what they are going to do next.
Children of separated parents need to know that they are so important to their parents, that their parents communicate about them, worry about them, plan for them and always and forever both love them.
There are free resources to help separating parents to make parenting plans; there are mediators to help parents to talk practically about the future; there are community resources to support parents. If you’d like to know more, please get in touch.
Gillian Krajewski runs Krajewski Mediation in New Malden – and also, nowadays, on Zoom. With an outstanding reputation as a family mediator and mediation
trainer, Gillian maintains an ethical commitment to providing mediation that is affordable to all.
For information on services and costs – including the possibility of free mediation, please visit Gillian and her practice at www.krajewskimediation.com or call 07939 047441.